Forget The X Files.  What you really want to know about are The XYZ Files.  These top secret FBI papers are devoted to unexplained phenomena-UFOs, out of body experiences, aliens, and unidentified goop.  Agent Scallop and her somewhat dim-witted partner, Agent Mildew, must solve the mystery of disappearing shopping malls or quit government service.  If this happens, the XYZ Files will be closed for good.  Although both agents are conscientious, they never seem able to produce evidence of anything.  The truth is the malls have been swallowed by gigantic sinkholes.  But that’s only part of it.  Down below is a mad botanist who has created an enormous ant farm.  With the help of the mysterious Jellybean Person, our agents devote themselves to defeating the botanist, who now believes he’s the world’s most brilliant ant, and finding the Mulch City Mall, which just dropped from sight in front of unsuspecting teenagers!  This crazy farce has some worldly funny characters!  Everything from cheerleaders and dazed students to a little old lady searching for free samples at Chucky’s Chocolates.  There’s plenty of action, too.  The set requires only a table to represent an information booth.  Will the XYZ Files be terminated or will Agents Scallop and Mildew triumph?  Produce this spoof and see for yourself.  It’s X-citing, Y-ummy and Z-any!