OCT
18

Helping Shy Kids Break Out of Their Shells

By Flip Kobler 

Flip Kobler began his performing career as an actor before morphing into a writer.  Flip and his wife, Cindy Marcus, have written for Disney and now run Showdown Stage Company and Showdown Theater Academy in Valencia, California.  Pioneer Drama Service is pleased to offer several plays and musicals by this dynamic duo. 

Every drama group has one.  Or two.  Or seven.  You can see the potential hidden behind the downcast eyes and bitten lips.  At our theater camps, we’ve come across our share of shy kids, so I’d like to offer some tips that’ve helped us break them out of their shells.

Inclusion
Nobody sits out, even if they want to.  Everybody participates.  We start on day one, when the kids are sitting with friends in their own cliques.  “Everybody stand.  Now go sit with somebody you haven’t met.”  Boom!  Just like that, everybody is on the same playing field.  Everyone is awkward and shy when meeting new people.

Then we talk about it.  “Show of hands, how many people are nervous or shy about meeting someone new?”  And when the hands go up, those shy ones realize they’re not alone.  One tiny crack in the shell.

When we do theater games, everybody plays.  No bench-sitters.  A great way to break the ice is The Name Game.  Everybody stands in a circle.  One by one they must get to the center of the circle, say their name, then get back to place.  Notice I didn’t say “walk” to the center.  They can dance, hop, slither, Chuck-Berry duck-walk — doesn’t matter.  And they can sing their name, shout it, do a funny voice, an imitation, whatever.

Then the entire company must mimic them.  Everybody does the same thing as a group, trying to be as exact as possible.  It’s a fun way to learn names and make introductions.  There’s always a shy one who simply walks forward and quietly says their name.  But when the entire group does that, it really holds a mirror up to them:  “Is that how I seem?”  And they start to realize that the only way to be weird in theater is to be afraid of being weird.

One more tiny crack.

Singing
Singing is a lot of people’s biggest fear.  We make everybody sing something solo, even if we’re not doing a musical.  Singing is so scary that once kids get over that hurdle, everything is easier.  So in the spirit of inclusion, everybody sings — teachers and directors, too — even if it’s just “Happy Birthday.”

A few years ago, Zach came to our camp, and we started singing on the first day.  We usually ask for volunteers, and when those run out we randomly pick a name until everyone has cleared their pipes.  So, we called Zach.  He stood there, trembling, unable to open his mouth.  We gave him ample time to sing, but he simply couldn’t.  So he sat and we did a few more rounds, then called him up again.  Same thing.  Every few names we’d call on Zach to come sing.  He couldn’t do it.  And that’s fine.  We all know it’s hard.  But Zach didn’t get a free pass.  The next day we brought him up to sing like everybody else had done.  Couldn’t do it.  Day three, same thing.  But by day four, Zach sang.  Quiet and shaky, he sang.  He was instantly greeted with huge applause from the cast, and he got smothered in an impromptu group hug. 

The next year Zach got a singing lead.  He told us that the instant where he had to sing literally changed his life.  We were kind, understanding, loving, and supportive.  But he didn’t get to not participate.  Crack.

Finding Hidden Talents
This is the best tool in our kit, but it takes a little longer.  Jenny is a great example.  We simply could not break her out of her shell.  I don’t think she said two words the first couple of weeks.  No singing or name games or new buddies could put a dent in her shy-armor.

Our “ah-ha” moment came when choreographing a sword fight.  We were working with the main cast, which didn’t include Jenny since she refused to open her mouth.  But Jenny’s eyes lit up when watching the stage-fight.  Turns out her family owned a dojo and our shrinking violet was a black belt.  So, we made her our fight assistant.  Suddenly, Jenny had to train others, and you can’t do that with a zipped lip.  We found where she had confidence to speak, to teach, to train.

Crack.

Jenny blossomed — I’m talking full-bloom roses.  The next year she became our ingénue.  Who knew?

We’ve used this technique of discovering hidden talents on a lot of kids over the years.  Tipper was super shy.  This kid couldn’t even make eye contact.  But he sure knew music, and once we discovered that, we made him our go-to guy.  Tipper was in charge of putting together the entire playlist for pre-show, intermission, and exit music to reflect the right mood.  And he succeeded, big time.  We’ve used this idea with carpenters who became the foremen for the set crew, artists to help paint sets or design programs, tailors and fashionistas to make costumes, athletes to aid in stage combat and warmups, and “mathletes” to lend a hand with stage layout and lighting design.  Once they feel empowered you can actually hear the...

Crack.

Group Casting
This little gem helps when you have multiple shy ones.  Cast them all as either a group or even a single role.  Yup, we’ve cast as many as five for a single part.

You can divvy up the lines and have them finish each other’s sentences like a group of quintuplets.  Or use them as one voice like a Greek chorus.

This is fun for the audience, and it takes the spotlight off a single person.  Invariably, one person emerges from that group as a leader — it’s just human nature.  They take charge, wrangle the others, get them to rehearse, and basically step forward.  And once they’ve had a taste of the spotlight and gotten their first laugh, there’s no going back.

Crack.

Outside Activities
This one is harder because it requires time outside of rehearsals.  Schedules, transportation, and cost can make this idea more effort than it’s worth.  On the other hand, we’ve had huge success with this.

We let our kids vote on what we do for an activity together outside of rehearsals, whether it’s a movie or game night or it’s going out, like to a fast-food dinner and bowling, or ice skating, or volleyball at the park — whatever.  These extra activities are a great way to break down some of the shy-walls.  Eating and laughing together is fabulous for team-building.

Sports tend to work well for us ’cause — let’s face it — a lot of theater geeks aren’t the world’s greatest athletes.  And everybody sucking at volleyball is great for a laugh, a terrific bonding moment, and a chance to get everyone on the same page.

Crack.

So, there ya have it.  Just a few ideas that’ve worked well for us.  I’m sure you have your own ideas and hidden gimmicks.  After all, if we can change one shy-guy’s life, isn’t it all worth it?  The show is just a byproduct of an amazing journey, and touching lives through theater is what satisfies our souls.

Now get out there and break some legs.